I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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