Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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