PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize