I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
bring money and cleavage
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
