she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
