Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
