Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
