New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
