The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
