butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
