ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
