I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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