I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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