hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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