Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
