We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
