ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
