I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
