I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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