While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
