I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
