Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
