Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
