Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
