apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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