I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
