And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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