Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
