i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you never un-have a 4some
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
