i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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