living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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