I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize