how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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