I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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