So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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