it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
