apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie