I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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