hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
