It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
