Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
