I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
