It's Friday. Sex?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
