i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
