come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
