so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
