I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
