there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
