What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
