i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i've created a new STD.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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