I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
