I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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