I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
