omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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