There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think people are normalizing furries
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
