I'm gonna have a badass scar
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize