There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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