ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
