i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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