I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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